I was lost in between, and right now, I still am.

I was literally doing that. My heart felt as if it was going to burst out from my ribcage. It’s been beating faster than usual and I guess, I know why, partly. I have been thinking of a certain something too much. And whenever I do, a weird feeling of excitement hits me. The feeling is so overwhelming that I’ll end up smiling to my ownself. Of course, without anyone noticing.

No, I’m not turning insane!
Not yet. I’ll send a signal when I’m really really on the verge of it though.
Like a huge tornado or tsunami.

I’m so happy lately. And I’m not lying. I know no one practically bothers but I’m glad I’m actually saying this, rather than writing about unpleasant things, getting all frustrated and effed up & venting my anger on innocent people. Yeah, I can be mean sometimes.

As much as I don’t want the good feeling to cease, I know for a fact, that this jubilance is just temporary and soon enough, I’ll be landing myself down in the dumps again. Yeah, it’s like that, isn’t it? Things don’t last. They never last. :/

Literally, I don’t get angry very often. I lose my temper rarely. And when I do, there’s always a legitimate cause. Normally I have a great lightness of being. I take things in a very happy, amused way.

But when I lose my temper, I find it difficult to forgive myself. I feel I’ve failed. I can be calm in a crisis, in the face of death or things that hurt badly. I don’t get hysterical, which may be masochistic of me.

Pardon me if I did hurt anyone today. I don’t have any intention to. Monstrous cruelty is just not showing me any mercy.